Week #1

Sarah Wennersten

September 12-19, 2010

Week in Review 1

Well so far I have really been enjoying the JWI program. Me and my roommate have been getting along great even though we completely opposite in most ways. I am praying that that will continue.

Probably the thing that has had the biggest impact on me in this first week was Monday morning. Not only was the getting woken up at 4:30 kinda cool but I was really impacted by the an aspect of the hike. Before we started our hike a little after five in the morning our leader had each of us pick up a rock. Then we were to think about all the stuff that we wanted to change or let go in our lives. Be it sin or just plain baggage. I wasn’t thinking about it a ton because I was helping my roomy hike cause it was hard for her with her torn MCL but it was on my mind. Then a ways up the trail we stopped and the leader talked about putting all that baggage into the rock. I stood there in the dark pouring out everything “into” that little rock. I actually became a little attached to the rock because I like to keep special things like that. So I prayed and I cried silently to myself as I really tried to let go of things from the past that have been holding me back. In high school I really struggled with trying to fit in. It was mostly in JH and my first three years of HS that were just not fun. I was trying so hard to fit in with a certain group of kids who I really thought should accept me because we went to church and school together for so long. But by the end of my Junior year and my whole senior year I had a great time because I stopped trying to fit in and just hung out with those people who were my real friends. It was so great. But I still carried with me the fact that I didn’t know why the kids didn’t accept me. There were/are many reasons I could think of... from them viewing me as the immature kid I was when I was younger, thinking I was a self-righteous suck-up, or thinking I was really prideful. Even though I really was none of those things, at least not any more. So I had been carrying that with me. When I met new people I feared they viewed me the same way and that fear kept me from being me, the person I really am now. Anyway all that to say it was a big burden. So in that little rock I put all the things that I perceived people had ever thought about me, I put my worry about people seeing me as something I’m not, and I really let go of my fear of man. After throwing that rock onto the pile of other rocks I felt so free. This week has been great because I have really been being me. I have caught myself a couple times thinking “those people over there seem to not like me very much”. Then I remember. I remember that they don’t know me at all. How can they not like me if we have never talked? I remember that I will not be best friends with everyone, because of personality differences. I remember that it really doesn’t matter if they like me or not. This week has just been so freeing it is a little hard to describe. I never want to lose my focus, I want to always remember how this feels right now and never let myself be afraid of what my peers think again. Ok Sarah? DON’T forget. Let it go. It makes you sad and act like the whole world revolves around you. It’s plain selfish that’s what it is. But good job so far.

On another track one thing I really want to work on this year is my bass playing skills. Right now all I can play is what is written on the page in front of me, simple worship music. That really isn’t that bad because that’s all I play my bass for but I  do want to get better. So I want to take advantage of all the great musicians I am surrounded by. One guy has helped and offered to help more to teach me and another guy some stuff. I am excited. Also I have to relearn sheet music, which I have flash cards for, so I can study the bass book I bought which uses sheet instead of letter notes. And another thing I need to do is just get my bass in my hands and play. Just play even though I don’t know much yet. So learning a little more about my bass this week has been encouraging.

Yesterday was my first day at work. I worked the snack shop this weekend and it was tons of fun. I love the ladies in there and we had such a good time goofing around, joking, and working hard. I am excited though to do some of the physical jobs like HA and working with the outdoor stuff. Seeing as at this point in my life I am looking at pursuing a career in fitness... but we will see what happens.

I realize this week has been a “honeymoon” week and that it will get a lot harder but I am still excited. I am excited to devote a year of my life to growing closer to God. I hope to instill some good habits. I have never been a rebel and I am used to lots of rules and actually enjoying following them for the most part so that is probably not going to be my biggest area of struggle. But I am pretty sure my struggles will come in the form of interactions with other people and staying strong in my values and in my personal “rules”.  I need to pray for focus and a willingness to set friendships and myself aside to let God draw me closer to Himself and let Him use me however He wants. I think another area may be patiences with certain people. I am usually very patient but when it comes to certain people I have found myself a little irritated. I knew in the first days who the “thorns in my flesh” were going to be so now that I have identified them I need to work extra hard at loving them. And I need to pray for them, pray for them good things. You can’t not like someone you pray blessing on.

A place in the world that has been on my mind a lot lately is Turkey. I haven’t been praying for it so much but I think I will start praying more. My brother is going to be stationed there in November with the Air Force so I have been thinking about it and him a lot. It is an interesting country in its religious beliefs from what I understand. While in Texas this summer we went and listened to a Turkish missionary talk and it was great to see the way they have been able to reach remote villages and small groups of people. There is persecution for Christians in Turkey. On your license down there who have to claim which religion you are. If your card says “Christian” then most employers will not hire you. But at the same time the government is slightly tolerant even though it is a predominantly Muslim country. There is a lot going on there and I need to study it more so I can pray more specifically.