Week #9,10,11

Sarah Wennersten

November 8-13, 2010

Week in Review 9

This week the speaker has been really good. I missed Monday night but I plan to listen to the audio soon. I have always felt a pull toward travel and toward missions. The pull for missions has become stronger and stronger the last few years to the point that I am becoming convinced that I need to take action. God has put a longing in my heart to help people reaching back to when I was little and wanted to be a veterinarian and a police officer. I think He has been growing in me this desire to help the under dog for the purpose of missions. One thing I have never felt drawn to was going through a missions organization and doing all the training, I have never felt drawn to full time missions like that. But I still wanted to do missions so I wasn’t sure what God had in mind. Last night I think He made it clear to me how I can do missions without doing the whole schooling scene. We were in the Grill and the speaker was mentioning how he had spent a few years traveling around spending time with different missionaries all around the world. I was baffled how he could that because I always understood that you couldn’t go unless trained by a missionary school. So I asked and he said that he just wrote letter to a bunch of missionaries and asked if they needed help and if he come spend time with them. So he saved up money, got on a plane, and went. I am so pumped! I haven’t been this excited about something in a long time. It just felt right. I can do that! I would still like to do college maybe but I think at this point I may pursue spending some time in foreign countries with missionaries. I can’t explain this feeling inside of me. I am so excited for the Dominican Republic I can hardly contain it. I just feel myself bubbling over and it feels so right. I have been feeling this pull to do something for so long and now I feel that a game plan is starting to form. I need to stay in prayer and seek God’s will but right now I really feel this is what He may have for me. One fear I have is letting go. Some things won’t be hard but what will be hard and what I feel like I still haven’t given up all the way is my desire to get married and settle down. I want that so bad but if I am going to be traveling around then that probably won’t work for a few years. But, I know and want to give all of my life to God and His service so I need to be willing to give everything up. It’s the story we hear over and over: person gives hands over their dream to God, God uses them for amazing things, and then often God gives them their dream in a way that was unexpected. So many speakers have said that we need to go do stuff while we are young and strong and have energy. “Now is the time”. I am so excited to see what God is going to do with me. I want Him to use me. I have said “here I am send me” and if He keeps answering my prayers like he has been the last few months then I know He will. That is my next subject. Answered prayers. God has been showing Himself to me in ways that I have never experienced before and it has been amazing. He has shown Himself faithful to answer my prayers and then make it clear to me that He has answered them. The first time I experienced this was in the first few weeks when I gave up the baggage I was carrying from my high school years. I so badly wanted to give all that junk to God and so I cried out. A week or so later something happened that normally would have bothered me and made me start freaking out about what people thought. But I didn’t really care. It has been so freeing to finally live without a great fear of man. Second was when I realized God was answering my prayer concerning pride in my life. Once again this is something I noticed in high school and even prayed that God would take out of my life and help me change. But it wasn’t until coming here and giving up it all up on that first morning that change  really started happening. God  made it apparent to me that He was working on my pride because people started arguing and discussing calvinism, predestination, and all that. In high school I would often argue theological points because I wanted to people to know what was right and true, which is what I had to say. I had to prove my point and make sure people knew exactly what I thought to be right. But this time I wanted nothing to do with it. I hated even just listening to the argument. Later on I realized that that dislike for the kind of discussion that was going on was from God. Talking about stuff like that is so important but all too often people take to a level that I believe is not edifying at all. There is just a certain tone of voice and tenseness of muscles that happens in those talks between already decided Christians and I hate it. So there was a moment when I realized I wanted nothing to do with that and that that was a from God breaking me of my pride of always having to be right. Of course I will still talk about those subjects because I do feel strongly about it but I will not do it a group setting that shows me off instead of God like it should. Finally, a week or so ago I was really struggling with something and again cried out to God. I told HIm this year was all for Him that I specifically devoted all of myself these 9months to be used by Him and to grow. I begged Him to take away the distractions from my mind and prevent the devil from distracting me if he was. My heart was pouring out to express my deep desire for my focus this year. And God again proved faithful to answer my hearts desire and He totally did an awesome work changing my desire. It has just been so cool to be able to see answered prayers.

I am going to be praying for the Dominican Republic because I am so stoked to be going there. I can’t get it out of my head. I am going to pray for some of the different job sites especially the Physical Therapy site where I will be working. Pray that I can be a blessing and that our whole group can be a blessing.

Sarah Wennersten

November 14-28, 2010

Week in Review 10

Wow. The last two weeks have been so eventful. I wrote so much in my journal about Mexico. But the first big thing that happened was on Monday morning at San Diego Christian College. We had the opportunity to tour the college and then go to chapel. Laila and I were talking before chapel about how we both have been feeling called to do mission work. Then we went to chapel which was an all worship chapel. At first I wasn’t really keen on it because it felt a little more like a rock concert than a worship service. But then God, in His way of doing stuff, had a series of songs that moved my heart like none other. I was a bucket of tears right there in the middle of the service.

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise, become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

The song that made it all come out:

I Will Go

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands

To the suffering and the lean

To the ones the world has cast aside

Where you want me I will be

[Chorus:]

I will go, I will go

I will go, Lord send me

To the world, To the lost

To the poor and hungry

Take everything I am

I'm clay within your hands

I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege

Give me eyes to see the pain

Let the blessing You've poured out on me

Not be spent on me in vain

Let this life be used for change

[Chorus]

I wanna live for you

Go where you lead me

I wanna follow you

[Repeat 3x]

[Chorus]

Send me! [4x]

Reading these lyrics is still amazing to me. The song was perfect, perfect timing, perfect lyrics, and perfect everything. I’m not sure I have ever heard God speak to me so loudly as He did in that series of songs. I am ready to take action, to do something. No longer hear about the unreached and unsaved, feel bad, and then do nothing. What I felt and am feeling is far beyond just feeling bad about not doing enough. I am ready to do God’s work whatever that may mean. If it means giving up or postponing my dream of getting married and having kids then I (by God’s grace and continued work in this area of my life) will be ok with that. I am really excited to see where God is going to take me in these next years of my life... be it college, Africa, or somewhere completely unexpected.

I have just been so encouraged lately at how God has been answering my prayers and really speaking to me. I have never had such a clear line of communication with Him and now that I have experienced this I never want to lose it. When people would  talk about stuff like this I always thought they were just making it up and just talking “Christianese”. It used to bug me. But now that I have experienced such closeness with God I know it is possible and is real. I used to doubt if such clear communication was possible but now I know. I’m sure some people do just blow smoke when they talk about various religious experiences but now I feel like those stories have more weight with me since I have experienced something so cool. God is just so good. He has been so good to me, especially these last few months. But He has really blessed me so much my whole life. And like the song said I don’t want to waste all those blessings on myself, I want to use that blessing to do God’s work. I think that is how it is supposed to be. It is seen in tithing even, we give back. I feel that God has given me so many unique life experiences, and that He did it for a very specific reason. I’m excited to see what else He is going to do this year and how He is going to use the next trips to influence me.

This week I want to pray for Mexico. Spending the week there was great for me to see that way of life. I see how fallen the country as a whole is. Pray for real solutions to the problems of drug and human trafficking.

Week #8

Sarah Wennersten

November 1-7, 2010

Week in Review 8

This week was another good week. So far I am really enjoying my time here. I am growing a lot and getting to experience so many new things.

Monday started a good week of teaching from Matt Lance of the Forge in Texas. The Forge is kinda like Joshua but with less people most of whom have done college already. He spoke on faith and obedience. Then during the Grill he did a great talk about relationships and the right way to date. He spoke mostly to the guys and how they should approach a girl: be up- front, stick your neck out and just ask. He talked about coming to the front door, not to the back door, just like you would any person’s home. He said that most guys now days just come in through the back door, grab a drink, and plop down on the couch, as it were. He said “Girls, you are all worth the pursuit”. A lot of what he spoke about had to do with showing the other person value. One thing that was kinda cool was that he said it was totally ok for a girl to date more than one guy because they don’t own you. A girl is her father’s before marriage, not anyone else's. Relationships now days are very possessive and they shouldn’t be. He said any time you let a guy in through the back door you are letting someone in who won’t treasure you. He also advised to invite as many godly couples who’s marriages you admire into your relationship. Give them the keys. If they say break up then do it. One last thing that I thought was really neat was one more phrase to add at a marriage. At his marriage, when the preacher would usually say “who gives this woman to this man” at the beginning, the preacher said the woman’s father “ Do you see this man as fitting to accept your role as protector of and provider for your daughter?” Overall he just said a lot of things that gave the guys tons of tips and helped the girls value themselves more when it comes to relationships.

Tuesday I did my SWEEP in program. One eventful thing that happened was that I was almost stabbed in the back by a rake. I was riding in the back of a truck with two kyaks on either side of me and some rakes on the bed of the truck. We were cruising along and all of sudden we braked really hard and I proceeded to fall backwards almost landing on the rake, but I was able to catch myself. Turns out this big semi-truck sized truck thing didn’t obey the stop sign like it was supposed to. I have fallen backwards enough this year already, two times is too many. Though at least it wasn’t down a hill this time.

Wednesday the Joshua Bell Choir started. Oh man, it was sooooo funny! I thought it was funny from the beginning, the whole idea of a bell choir. But then to top off the funniness of it Jordan S is the director, which I was not expecting. He came wearing a suit and hiking boots which was super funny. The choir actually sounds pretty good, they were well on their way to a good rendition of “Carol of Bells” just from one practice.

Thursday we went to Fresno! First we toured Fresno State University which was ok. Then we had a couple hours of free time to do some shopping. I was able to get some snacks, a new jacket, and some more yarn. Then we all changed into our 80’s attire and met at the vans. Everyone looked so good! We drove for quite a while to a mystery location which turned out to be bowling! We were split up into groups and had a blast. I got a couple strikes which was cool but mostly just chilled. It was a really good day off the mountain

Friday began another weekend of work of which I spent being a Pondy server. It was the father- daughter conference this weekend. It was such a blessing to see all the dad’s walk in to the dining room with their girls. Really did my heart good. Made me miss my dad a lot though. One of my favorite things to see was when a dad would cut his daughter’s food for her, so cute. Work went really well concidering the normal hostess was gone. But Lacy was in charge and did a great job. I have a lot of respect for her being able to do it because I know it’s tough to be “in charge” of peirs. She did great. And the servers did great in following.

Saturday was a long day of split shifts. It was nice to have time off between shifts but at the same time I would rather just get all the work done at once and have a big chunk of time rather than a bunch of little nuggets. But that is impossible when you are a server. Between lunch and dinner we had a few hours which we spent in the Pondy lodge reading, using the internet, and hanging out. The lodge used to be a brothel back in the day and is super creepy up stairs. Skinny hallway with a dim window at the end. Coming up the stairs and turning and looking down the hall is super sketch. One time Calen was doing a creepy crouch thing in the hallway so all you saw was his siloette and Lacy I were a little freaked out. Then he jumped forward and we both screamed. It was great.

I finished my second beanie!! It’s purple and I really like it.  Though my muli-colored pink one is pretty cool too. I started a new black one but the yarn is different. I bought this new yarn which was a little more spendy but really soft. It is a little difficult to crochet but I really like how it feels.

Today was pretty good, another good day of work. Toward the end of our shift I was helping in the dish room scrubbing tons of sheet pans, grates, and muffin pans. The water looked like coffee it was so black with junk from the pans. It got so hot. After work at 3 I sat in Pondy lodge again till dinner then went to church. Brad Bell spoke on Galations 5. I really enjoy his teaching. He can really speak the truth. Reminds me a little of my youth pastor in his ability to speak the truth clearly with no fear of “losing numbers”.

This week I want to be praying for Mexico since we are going there next week. There are a lot of obvious issues that need prayer but I want to focus on the ranch where we are going and for all the kids we get to be with. Pray for all those families of the deaf children and that people will be touched by our presence. I pray that God will use us to reach someone for Him.

Week #7

Hey all, sorry this is coming out so late. So this post is on the week before this one. I will hopefully post about this week sooner, maybe Monday.

Sarah Wennersten

October 25-31 , 2010

Week in Review 7

Coming to the end of another long week my body is very sore and tired. This weekend was great. It was our first weekend off so most of the Joshua students were gone but some of us stayed here to work and make some money. I worked HA and it was super fun and hard as usual. So Friday we got to work at 3 and only worked till 4:30 when Jordan,  Jessy, Brendan, Seth, Josh, and I went rock climbing. It was soooo much fun! It was actual legit rock climbing! We were climbing on a rock face that was slightly slanted and very smooth. The hand and foot holds we had were tiny. You had to use climbing shoes and  use your legs for most all of the climb. Most of the time my hands were just flat on the rock because there was nothing to hold on to. So you had to put the tip of your toe on a near invisible divot or bump and keep your weight over your foot and push up. It was so hard, yet so rewarding at the top. I thought it would hurt if I fell because I thought I would swing and hit the rock but when I fell I more just slid down a few inches. For sure cannot do that kind of climbing without harnesses and ropes. I was the first one to climb so as I went up the easier of the two routes I had to unclip the safety rope that Jordan had used to attach the belay ropes. So as I climbed I would come to the next carabiniere and unclip it from the bolt in the rock then from the rope and clip it onto my harness. It just felt super cool to be climbing like that. It was starting to get dark when we got there so a little while in it was very dark. We were climbing by headlamp which was so cool! On the face of this giant rock/cliff, in the dark, with just a little head lamp. Toward the top I felt totally alone. It was dark and the stars were out. I couldn’t see anyone. It was very hard to hear because of the wind. I can’t explain how cool it was. When we got back to the building I cracked a box of hot cocoa and we all sat around drinking hot cocoa and talking for a long time. It was so much fun. We were telling jokes and riddles and the boys were eating tons of pixie sticks. Overall it turned out to be a great night.

Saturday I woke up to look at my alarm clock blinking. The power goes out here all the time so I usually set my phone alarm as a back up. Of course my phone had run out of battery that night. So I woke up at 7:20, by the grace of God, even though I had gone to bed at midnight the night before. I had to be at work at 8:15 so I my alarm was set for 7:00 but that didn’t turn out so great. As I was in the shower all of a sudden my roommate was pounding on the door like crazy yelling “It snowed!!”. She was running around the room stomping her feet yelling “it’s snowing!”. It was very funny. But what was really funny was that my first thought was, “we left the ropes up last night.” Which meant they would be wet and harder to work with. I just thought it was funny how that was my first thought. Turns out Meghan thought the same thing when she saw the snow. We are deff turning in to real HAGs. After getting ready I went downstairs to meet with the girls I was walking down with. But they were no where to be found so I went to their doors and was knocking trying to wake them up in case their alarms didn’t work because of the power outage. There was no answer and finally I decided I just needed to leave so I wouldn’t be late. By the time I left it was already 8:00. I had less than 15 minutes to make it down the hill in the snow. I decided to take the short cut which I soon realized was maybe not the best idea seeing as I had to make it down the steep, muddy, and snowy hill. But I made it down the hard part and then started to run, jog, and shuffle down the hill through the woods. I made it to Wagon Train in about 3 minutes which I was very happy about. I got to the main road in 5 minutes and arrived at Cedar Hall by 8:10. It was awesome. My new hiking boots and I rocked that snowy, muddy hill. The snow melted by mid-day and the rest of the day was sunny and beautiful. My favorite thing about that day was I got to dig out a drainage ditch thing. There was a good 5 inches of silt built up in a 4 ft x 4ft hole. The hole was about a foot deep. So I got to shovel that out which was very fun but very hard too. Brendan and I moved a bunch of 2x4’s from on top of a water path way and shoveled that. Then I shoveled out another hole but this one was probably a good 4 ft deep. So I had to squat down, get a shovel load, do a squat press back up, and then throw the stuff away. My legs got a great workout. Between rock climbing and digging I am one sore puppy. Also on Saturday Jordan had given us about an hour and half off before lunch and so Meghan, Jessy, and I decided to go to the Plouffe’s house and crash for awhile. To get there we decided to take the road behind High Adventure because it seemed to be in the general direction and none of us had been there before. We explored for about 30 minutes walking on a muddy dirt road. We saw lots of drainage ponds, scrap yards, and water towers. There were so many cool things to look at and it was really good to see more of where we live. We did end up getting to the Plouffe’s and took about a 30 minute nap and the floor. They are such a generous family. After that we returned to HA for a session at 3:00. This weekend was a high school girls conference. David and I led a group of 5. We started on the Screamer and I was on top. The first girl was freaking out because she didn’t want to go first but finally did. It was the fourth girl who was hard. The girl was crying and shaking and just would not jump. She asked if I could just push her but I told her I couldn’t (I found out today you can if they ask, would have been nice to know that). We were on top of the Screamer with me holding onto her tether for a  good 10 minutes. Finally she went off. It was tough but good. 

Sunday, today, was such a great day. Last night Jordan had come to the table where all of us HAGs were sitting and said that they were having cinnamon roles at Kroker’s (a house where a few bachelors live) in the morning and that we were invited. Earlier that day he has said we were going to start work at 9 so we asked what time to be a Krokers. He stood there thinking for a few seconds, shook his head, and then said “you know, how about 9 o’clock”. So this morning David, Eric, Brendan, Josh, Meghan, and I all went to Jordan’s house and had cinnamon roles, milk, and hot cocoa with some other guys there. It was lots of fun. At 10:00 we went to work. I got to sharpen three chain saws which was cool. It is really neat how you learn so many different skills here. I can do so many random useful things and it’s only been a little over a month; we all get to do so much cool stuff. We got off work at 3:00 but hung out around HA till 4:00. Jordan taught me how to splice rope (which I kinda failed at but got eventually) and we all looked at a bunch of cool climbing stuff online. I just love working HA because it is hard work a lot of the time but there is also time to chill. It’s a great balance. I think it is perfect for me because I do love to work hard but also have fun. I feel like I really thrive in that environment. 

Wednesday night we had a pumpkin carving contest, boys versus girls. I carved a Justin Bieber pumpkin, which is weird because I have never listened to him and think he is a little strange. But I went to work on that pumpkin. There was a thermometer and the words “Bieber fever” on it. We had different categories we had to do and really did have good pumpkins. Thursday night was Pause night and we had chili and carved more pumpkins. I carved a nice looking buck. I need to show dad. It was a good week, but a little rushed for time also. On Friday we had a big paper due and had to have Philippians 1 memorized. But God gave me time on Tuesday by making it so I didn’t have to do my SWEEP and then I had all of Thursday afternoon to work on my paper. Despite all we had going on God gave me lots of time to get done what I needed to get done. I passed Philippians on my second try and found out that I got a 100% on my first paper for Moody which was very encouraging. 

Levi leaves for Turkey on Wednesday. I miss him so much. My desktop right now is a slide show of pictures of him. There are a lot of people praying for him. I know God answers prayers because He has been doing some awesome work on me lately and I have been really encouraged to pray more. God does give us the desires of our heart, especially when He hears a heart felt cry for change. I just love my big bro so much. I am really excited for him to get to experience all he is going to experience these next three years as he is overseas. 

This week I want to be praying for Afghanistan. They are in the news so much with all the stuff with the war. I can pray for their political, economical, and spiritual stability. They are a hard people to reach for the Lord because of their religion but it is not impossible as nothing is impossible for God. I will pray for the missionaries down there as they have a very difficult job.